another day...another week...always a healer

i looked up and realized that another week has flown by- i know i say this often- that's because it's legit- but work was overwhelming this week-OVERWHELMING- particularly wednesday. i had my boss breathing down my neck to meet a deadline. and i can say that because he and i were joking about it yesterday afternoon- phew. what a relief to be done with that. and what a relief to say we could joke about it afterwards- meaning, i met the deadline, and all was happy.  

it has been an emotional rollercoaster for this reason and several others this week. i'm not one to talk to intimately about my personal life on my blog, but i feel inclined to do so right now, so i will. this week has been an eye opening experience to a difficult reality: i am an extremely anxious and fearful person, in general, but in stressful/high anxiety heightening moments, it's way way worse. and i don't think it's healthy one bit. this bothers me because i'm a very health concious person- then i feel anxious about that, and the nasty cycle continues. my anxiety and my fear, i admit, have gotten the best of me this week. with blake being gone, i've managed to go to bed no later than 10:15 most days- but "going to bed" and "going to sleep" are entirely different. my anxiety and fear have caused me little sleep this week. i go to bed mentally exhausted, and i wake up mentally exhausted. ugh. not healthy. i've always been anxious even in regards to little things, but this week has spurned a new level of anxiety and fear not only because of the deadline i was racing to met, but because, my tallulah is sick- and as of right now, the doctors don't know what is wrong with her. i now have a small taste of what a parent dealing with a sick child is like- my respect level and sensitivity for this has increased ten fold over the last several days.

nevertheless, the Lord, praise His Name, is using this situation to make me a better person. And i don't mean this in a worldly sense- better in the sense of He's molding me, and shaping me spiritually. My stubborn, prideful, fearful, anxious, controlling, sinful nature has a way of keeping me from trusting in the Lord- I push and pull with Him- until, it's time that the Lord feels is best to really stretch me and get my attention. Think about all the moments in life that we do this- how might things go differently if we threw our hands up and let Him take the reigns from the get go? I am still trying to understand why this is such a difficult concept for my heart to grasp- my head gets it... my heart is a little slow.

But difficult times manage to turn sweet when He meets me in the storm. Praise the Lord for relentless love! He's stretching my prayer life and my trust. He's opening my heart and my eyes to the reality of His power and majesty. Do I believe truly He is Jehovah Rapha, the Lord God our Healer? I say yes when life is easy, but what happens when the unknown gets hard, and turns personal (i.e. when it affects something I so deeply love and care about)? When something I love is affected, God turns right around and shows me a love I never can fathom. Who is the one person that can love so purely it casts out all fear? And those are the words spoken to me this week.  

1 John 4:18 There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. We love because he first loved us.

There is perseverance developing in this tainted heart of mine. I can only look to the heavens and cry out in thankfulness to my God, who is so patient with me. And in the midst of the storm, somehow, I find peace in the fact that God is God. He is our healer. He is our rock. And He is the only one who drives out fear. I praise Him for this.

James 1:2-4 Consider it pure joy, my brother's whenever you face trials of man kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

uploaded by loswl

a 'glee'ful friday

it is a travel day for me and b. unfortunately, not to the same place. i shall be by car. he shall be by plane. i'm en route to his home in little rock. and he en route to paris. j'adore. although paris sounds quite romantic and charming, i'm delighted to be spending a weekend with his mother. she amazes me. truly godly. and wise. and just as beautiful on the inside as on the outside. someday, i will be a part of this family- and i couldn't be more thrilled. they're all utterly delightful.
on a more random note, i enjoy discovering blogs that inspire or just downright make me happy. low and behold felldowntherabbithole. it just so happens to be the blog of the beautiful dianna argon, from glee. and for those of you who know me, i'm obsessed with the show. i realized from browsing her site, you can learn a lot about a person just by reading their blog, looking at their pictures, or even just by random playlists they post. dianna is a photographer- inspiring! and she has a passion for living and living to the fullest! browse her blog. its elegant and charming. have a blessed weekend. and enjoy some of my favorite pictures i pulled from her site.

j'adore your weekend. pray for b in paris.

punkin' patch

i thought i was getting on a good roll when it came to my posts, and then, i was put on hold for a week or so. work is CRAZY right now. i'm in over my head- in the most fortunate sort of way. not many people can say that. so i feel blessed.
wellllll.... blake and i went to the pumpkin patch this previous weekend not once, but two times! the first time was an unsuccessful trip- about 1.5 million children were there this past saturday, thus, running us off. we were too overwhelmed to say the least. we returned sunday, and enjoyed a picnic on the haybales, an itchy hayride, sunshine, and brought back two lovely pumpkins. which i hope will be carved sooner than later.

hope you enjoy the photos we documented from the trip. we have the best time together. no matter where we go. i adore him. the end.



i love this pic. he makes me happy.



seriously, if you get a spare moment this fall, drop by a pumpkin patch. even if you don't walk away with a pumpkin, there's something about a big open space, that allows your inner kid to come through. and its quite refreshing.

sneek peek

what a wonderful way to spend a sunday afternoon. it beats napping, thats for sure. this was so much fun for both blake and i. we had the honor of shooting this lovely intimate wedding. my old roomate, rebecca married grant on 10-10-10. i'd say that's a pretty lucky day if you ask me. the weather couldn't have been any better (maybe cooler..) but the lighting was perfect. and these two good looking souls make taking pictures a breeze. here's just a sneek peek of a few photos from the day. they were so happy. it was a good..no, great day. congratulations to my lovely friend.







date night

i love dating a man who's not afraid to act like a kid. we be actin' a fool. : ) last week was exceptionally busy for the man- his job/internship has a way of being busy sometimes. this is not a bad thing- i just miss my man when i don't get to spend good quality time with him. we made up for it friday night. the wait was totally-hilariously worth it!

somewhere in the distance, i swear i heard a child shriek. (spelling)? blake totally scared a small human. completely and totally awesome!

ready for 2 things today: *rain (its been dry for almost 1-1/2 months, literally.) *this cool front to come through after the rain. i've got fall recipes that i want to cook and i don't feel like i can when its still 90 degrees outside. hoping this weekend will be my perfect opportunity.

adoring autumn

                                           Red leaves/ 香山红叶, originally uploaded by Luo Shaoyang.

oh just a few things i adore in the fall. the leaves make the transition for summer to autumn so subtly and so gracefully. i wish i could do a better job of doing things as gracefully and subtly.  it is ironic to me that leaves cascade to their death in the fall- yet they grace us with such splendor and a richness of color for a time, making a statement on their way down. just lovely.  how can you not love fall when you take into consideration: pumpkin patches. hayrides. the fair. hot chocolate. clear, crisp days and evenings. camping. thanksgiving. blake's birthday. :) scarves. and boots. these are just several of the things i love love love in autumn. what are some things you love about this time of year?






where is my pumpkin? =}, originally uploaded by kennymuz.



genius beauty



by salkiwi

saturday evening post, norman rockwell

"autumn wins you best by this its mute appeal to sympathy for its decay" - robert browning

oh jenny.

ain't she a beauty. i'm in love.

60.

St. Jude Memphis Marathon and Half Marathon Start, originally uploaded by hrtmnstrfr.

on your mark. get set. go. i love this image. though i'll never experience it like this. cause in 60 days i'll be about 100 yards BEHIND those kenyans in the front. love everything about this race. the scenery. the weather- its like a ground breaking for me into winter. the fact that its right after thanksgiving and i get to run off the 3,000 calories i consumed during the holidays. its always a kick start to christmas. i love everything about this day.

only problem, its a pain in the butt until the day finally gets here. training for a half is one of the hardest and most time consuming things i've ever done.

but i will press on. crossing the finish line is extremely rewarding. 60 days away. i can do this.

Mumford & Sons

in these bodies we will live,

in these bodies we will die.

where you invest your love,

you invest your life....

awake my soul,

awake my soul.

you were made to meet your maker.

awake my soul,

awake my soul.

the chilly weather outside brings a new energy to life. it almost feels like it refreshens the soul. i know i have a new revived passion to spend more time with the Lord- a new energy. and the mindset that my time i give now, is never enough. which its not. this is definately not the power of the weather.

a shout out to my sneaky mother. you'll enjoy this picture. i adore this place, even though i've never actually set foot on its grounds. maybe someday. :) (taken by my lovely friend maggie)