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2010 has come and almost gone and big things are instore for life next year. i cannot believe i'm going to become a wife in just five months! a few things i'm reminded of as i pour through memories of a year, soon to be over -- what. a. wonderful. year.

*endless provisions of His grace and mercy *abounding love *joy overwhelming sorrow *the realities of human life and death *gain from loss *an engagement *restored friendship *embracing adventure *montana *preparing for the unknown *lovely roomates come and gone *snow day *feelings of utmost gratitude *generosity *best friend's weddings *a love of cooking *friends and family *fiance' *crime lab *#1 duke blue devils *His delight -always striving for His delight in me *growth *new healing *a half with my first cheering section

i love what i'm leaving the year with. thankful for growth- praying and anticipating more for the new year.

the one thing that i can't get out of my head...

I'll be married, to my best friend and man of my dreams, this time next year. CRAZINESS!

Happy New Year. God has been so good to me.



daddy's girl

i dunno if it was my wide eyes at birth, my athletic ability, my whitty sense of humor, or my competitiveness that drove me to never give up, but something has always made me a daddy's girl. i think most father-daughter relationships are like this....

i have never really understood why. all i know is...that i like it.

every daughter wants her parents approval and blessing. even if we arrogantly dismiss needing it, we're lying. it's the extra dose of "peace" that we need to settle our spirit. sometimes we'll give up trying to gain approval, for the mere assumption that we're to old to be wanting something of the sort-

it's only when we unexpectedly get it, do we realize how important and priceless that very moment is. that moment for me happened just three days ago. i will never forget it. for it was one of the sweetest blessings of my life. 

my writing abilities aren't anything like my dads... his talent is something i've always wanted. i'll humbly admit to getting his athletic ability... his writing talent,... not so much. so, because his words speak clearer than mine.. i'm going to let you read his heart. his article this past friday was about me and him... and the new man, my future husband, b.

these are the words of blessing and approval that i'm talking about. they bring tears to my eyes every single time i read the article. words that i will never ever forget. they are lovely and refreshing. they are the words from my father. thank you dad. i love you so much. and i cannot wait for you to give me away, may 28, 2011. there is no one else that deserves that honor more than you.

You can read his article here.

oh. happy. day.

i got engaged and let the hype of an engagement overwhelm me (in a good way) for a little over a week. now, i'm back. and a lot has happened since november 23. date: check. venue: check. guest list: almost check. honeymoon: check. dress: check. wedding party: check. it seems as though, if you put your mind to something, you can accomplish a lot in a short amount of time.
endless details of a wedding are now officially a reality, with the planning well under way. how's it going? you ask.... splendid, i'd have to say. not that that means it hasn't been difficult yet, cause it most definately has, but, i'm having a ball. and i'm learning a lot. and growing a lot through this whole process. getting married is a big stepping stone in the growing-up process. things change. yours becomes ours. miss becomes mrs. single becomes taken. and even though i'm not officially 'married' quite yet, we begin stepping into the roles that we're most definately going to be living out for the rest of our lives in subtle ways without even realizing it.
i believe one of the most challenging yet enjoyable things about wedding planning as of yet, has been having the constraint of working and planning amongst a tight budget. it opens up more doors to express my own creativity. yet probably the most crucial piece of information i can give you on working within a tight budget, is how much more of the lord's provision i am able to enjoy, in the midst of seeing Him work things out. to see Him provide in ways i cannot have even imagined, makes this wedding something even more special. He's affirming our 'i do's' even before we get to the homemade altar. i am overjoyed at the abundant provision already pouring out of the Lord's hands, onto this future marriage. it truly will be a happy day.
i am thankful my eyes and heart are in tune with seeing His abundant generousity in this hectic season of planning. it breaks my heart when i see brides getting all caught up in the showy aspect of a wedding, feeling the need to impress the masses, and neglecting to reflect on the biblical image of marriage. at the end of the day its not about impressing the bodies, it's about giving God all the glory. and, in my opinion, 'bridezilla' and 'giving God the glory' don't mesh in the same sentence very well. for those of you who read, please continue praying for my heart and spirit, in that i will continue to maintain a Christ-centered mindset about all of this during the next 5 months. 
with all that said, i'd love to share with you a little peek at a detail for the wedding that arrived in the mail today. nothing like this to brighten up a monday. i'm seriously in love with these vintage stamps, which will be gracing their presence on the wedding invites. i sort through these and imagine what was going on in the world during the time they were created. they're just beautiful and full of old yet wonderful memories. 
be. blessed. 

i said YES. we said LOVE.

as a little girl, you dream of this day. the proposal. you can't help but imagine all the details and hope/wish for a fantasy. well, last night was even more than i could have ever imagined. i said yes, in someway, somehow. i'm not quite clear on all the details. everything was so blurry and exciting but, by the end of the night, i had a fiance and a dream had come true! i'm gonna be marrying my best friend within the next 5-6 months. more than anything, i am overwhelmed at the love and affection i am being sweetly bombarded with by my friends and family. their love and support around us during this time is more than we could have ever asked for, and their contribution to last night's celebration was beyond special, it was truly amazing.

last night marked a special day because not only was there an engagement, but preceeding the engagement were the words 'i love you'. we have been saving that for this moment. and i have never heard them spoken with more love, excitement, and anticipation. it is surreal that i now can say 'i love you' to my best friend. the words echo bliss. pure bliss.

thanksgiving will be a little more special this year. family and soon-to-be-family are uniting for the first time. man, i have so much more to be thankful for this year. i'm overwhelmed and blessed. abundantly blessed.

happy thanksgiving to all friends and family who read this blog. i love you so much and appreciate your support and love towards us as we celebrate this time together. i am thankful for a journey that has now, just begun.

meredith lynn larson. i LOVE it. sigh.

p.s. i find it also fascinating that the song i posted on my blog yesterday actually played a huge factor in blake's proposal. pictures to come. :) he did good. very good.

WE ARE

It's all too common to forget who we are and why we're here. I know this because I do it much to often, it's shameful. I put myself in a box and neglect anything that's going on around me. Why? To protect myself from being hurt, mostly. And then I think back on my trip to Africa and realize those I laid my eyes on and touched and loved on are neglected and hurting are because they have never known anything better. I have Jesus. They've never even heard His name. It happens much too much, that I have to ask God to take me out of my own box, and put me in unknown places. It's there I find so much more fulfilling joy anyway. The song below is a reminder to me and to you, believer, of who we are and why we're here. Take my hand, let's step out of this box together, oh brother and sister in Christ.



parker



We Are The Body Of Christ

by Mandi Mapes, Jim Watkins

We are the body of the most High
We are the bride of a Savior
And we fall for the King of the kingdom

As we sing the songs of salvation

And we stand for those who cannot stand for themselves
And we love the loveless

And we go where Your light’s not shining

We are the body of Christ

We shine like a city on a hilltop
We boast in the Spirit living in us

And we march on a road leading to freedom

As we reach out our hands to the fallen

And we bring living water to the thirsty and
We live for the One who was and is and is to come


So our life counts for something greater than ourselves

We are the body of Christ

And our anthem will be a song of praise to the King
“He is worthy, He is worthy”
With one voice we will sing,
“Where oh death is your sting”

He is mighty, He is mighty

home for the holidays



matt pearson

 i can't believe christmas is right around the corner. loving this short week. determined not to overlook thanksgiving. i'm anxiously awaiting the much needed upcoming holiday. already dreaming about how much food i'll eat. yesterday while leading my high school girls small group at church, i was reminded, by them, that at their age, you don't like 'thanksgiving food'. or that's the trend these days- to only eat junk food. gross. i'll be eating my plate as well as a plate in honour of the ones who refuse turkey and sweet potatoes and pumpkin pie this year. and am trying to figure out when in the last 5-8 years taste buds decided to immature rather than mature with age.  

today is blake's dear momma's birthday! happy happy birthday harriet!

i'm wishing it was as cool/cold outside as this picture appears. for those of you holding out on going to see harry potter...you have no idea what you're missing. and now that you have time over the holidays treat yourself to a great movie. :) 

during small group yesterday morning, we were encouraged to use our time wisely over the holidays. don't let Christ get the back burner. afterall, He is the only one we really have to thank for anything. So give thanks. And amidst all the eating and socializing this holiday season, give thanks to the one who gave it all, literally.

be blessed.

a celebratory day

HAPPY HAPPY 25th BIRTHDAY ANDREW BLAKE!



via {...psst}



Happy birthday to the boyfriend I never dreamed of having, but somehow was given anyway. Looking forward to taking him out on a dinner date followed by a yummy 2-layer yellow cake with chocolate frosting (his favorite). If you happen to see him around town today, give him a warm happy birthday hug, high five, or slap on the butt (make that 25 times). i know he'd appreciate it!



11.11.10

a day early. who cares. i'm already devoted to kicking off b's birthday a tad early. besides, everyone loves a birthday that lasts more than 24 hours. tomorrow b turns a quarter of a century old. and i'm that girl who gets to spend it with him- and carry it on into the weekend. we're travelling up to little rock to have a little party and just enjoy being with family. because he's turning the big 2-5, here's 25 reasons why i can't live without this guy- reasons why he is so amazing. so, happy birthday b! you're the biggest blessing ever to come into my life [excluding grace given to me by God] :) cheers.

in no particular order:

1] he can recite ANY line in jurassic park, and will do so willingly
2] he likes/loves grey's anatomy
3] he's utterly the most handsome man in the world
4] he strives to be a godly man, daily
5] he has good taste in music
6] he has good taste in women :)
7] b loves when i cook for him and will eat anything i make (i hope that's a good thing)
8] he is my world traveller
9] he adores lu just as much if not more than i do! and that's pretty hard to do!
10] he has the most adorable smile/teeth/crows feet
11] he's studly
12] his birthday is one day after meredith greys (i know he planned it that way..)
13] i feel most protected and provided for when he is around
14] he likes talking about the future- or just does a good job of putting up with my rants and dreams
15] his favorite food is a good steak. 
16] he likes a good beer. 
17] eehhh... he eats taco bell
18] it makes his day when i break down and eat fast food with him. its like i'm speaking his love language or something
19] he watches college football and dislikes watching nfl (excluding playoffs)
20] he's really good at reading me
21] he's honest
22] he is the funniest guy i know. makes me laugh all the time.
23] he takes care of me
24] yet he gives me up to the lord
25] he prefers me when im decked out in my casual attire and my hair's in a ponytail.

i could go on- it didn't take me very long to make this list! maybe more for next year! happy birthday darling! i'm so completely thankful for you!

hello today

i finally got to break out the wool coat today before leaving my house for work. its almost friday- that means blake and i along with a handful of other church folk will be leaving lunchtime tomorrow for a quick trip to birmingham. we're attending secret church. i'm stoked. #scriptureoverloadinagoodway

loving the *cold weather*sweaters*wool*thursday=grey's*time with su*london fog*leaves falling*blankets*pottery barn christmas catalogue*pumpkin spice everything

another day...another week...always a healer

i looked up and realized that another week has flown by- i know i say this often- that's because it's legit- but work was overwhelming this week-OVERWHELMING- particularly wednesday. i had my boss breathing down my neck to meet a deadline. and i can say that because he and i were joking about it yesterday afternoon- phew. what a relief to be done with that. and what a relief to say we could joke about it afterwards- meaning, i met the deadline, and all was happy.  

it has been an emotional rollercoaster for this reason and several others this week. i'm not one to talk to intimately about my personal life on my blog, but i feel inclined to do so right now, so i will. this week has been an eye opening experience to a difficult reality: i am an extremely anxious and fearful person, in general, but in stressful/high anxiety heightening moments, it's way way worse. and i don't think it's healthy one bit. this bothers me because i'm a very health concious person- then i feel anxious about that, and the nasty cycle continues. my anxiety and my fear, i admit, have gotten the best of me this week. with blake being gone, i've managed to go to bed no later than 10:15 most days- but "going to bed" and "going to sleep" are entirely different. my anxiety and fear have caused me little sleep this week. i go to bed mentally exhausted, and i wake up mentally exhausted. ugh. not healthy. i've always been anxious even in regards to little things, but this week has spurned a new level of anxiety and fear not only because of the deadline i was racing to met, but because, my tallulah is sick- and as of right now, the doctors don't know what is wrong with her. i now have a small taste of what a parent dealing with a sick child is like- my respect level and sensitivity for this has increased ten fold over the last several days.

nevertheless, the Lord, praise His Name, is using this situation to make me a better person. And i don't mean this in a worldly sense- better in the sense of He's molding me, and shaping me spiritually. My stubborn, prideful, fearful, anxious, controlling, sinful nature has a way of keeping me from trusting in the Lord- I push and pull with Him- until, it's time that the Lord feels is best to really stretch me and get my attention. Think about all the moments in life that we do this- how might things go differently if we threw our hands up and let Him take the reigns from the get go? I am still trying to understand why this is such a difficult concept for my heart to grasp- my head gets it... my heart is a little slow.

But difficult times manage to turn sweet when He meets me in the storm. Praise the Lord for relentless love! He's stretching my prayer life and my trust. He's opening my heart and my eyes to the reality of His power and majesty. Do I believe truly He is Jehovah Rapha, the Lord God our Healer? I say yes when life is easy, but what happens when the unknown gets hard, and turns personal (i.e. when it affects something I so deeply love and care about)? When something I love is affected, God turns right around and shows me a love I never can fathom. Who is the one person that can love so purely it casts out all fear? And those are the words spoken to me this week.  

1 John 4:18 There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. We love because he first loved us.

There is perseverance developing in this tainted heart of mine. I can only look to the heavens and cry out in thankfulness to my God, who is so patient with me. And in the midst of the storm, somehow, I find peace in the fact that God is God. He is our healer. He is our rock. And He is the only one who drives out fear. I praise Him for this.

James 1:2-4 Consider it pure joy, my brother's whenever you face trials of man kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

uploaded by loswl

a 'glee'ful friday

it is a travel day for me and b. unfortunately, not to the same place. i shall be by car. he shall be by plane. i'm en route to his home in little rock. and he en route to paris. j'adore. although paris sounds quite romantic and charming, i'm delighted to be spending a weekend with his mother. she amazes me. truly godly. and wise. and just as beautiful on the inside as on the outside. someday, i will be a part of this family- and i couldn't be more thrilled. they're all utterly delightful.
on a more random note, i enjoy discovering blogs that inspire or just downright make me happy. low and behold felldowntherabbithole. it just so happens to be the blog of the beautiful dianna argon, from glee. and for those of you who know me, i'm obsessed with the show. i realized from browsing her site, you can learn a lot about a person just by reading their blog, looking at their pictures, or even just by random playlists they post. dianna is a photographer- inspiring! and she has a passion for living and living to the fullest! browse her blog. its elegant and charming. have a blessed weekend. and enjoy some of my favorite pictures i pulled from her site.

j'adore your weekend. pray for b in paris.

punkin' patch

i thought i was getting on a good roll when it came to my posts, and then, i was put on hold for a week or so. work is CRAZY right now. i'm in over my head- in the most fortunate sort of way. not many people can say that. so i feel blessed.
wellllll.... blake and i went to the pumpkin patch this previous weekend not once, but two times! the first time was an unsuccessful trip- about 1.5 million children were there this past saturday, thus, running us off. we were too overwhelmed to say the least. we returned sunday, and enjoyed a picnic on the haybales, an itchy hayride, sunshine, and brought back two lovely pumpkins. which i hope will be carved sooner than later.

hope you enjoy the photos we documented from the trip. we have the best time together. no matter where we go. i adore him. the end.



i love this pic. he makes me happy.



seriously, if you get a spare moment this fall, drop by a pumpkin patch. even if you don't walk away with a pumpkin, there's something about a big open space, that allows your inner kid to come through. and its quite refreshing.

sneek peek

what a wonderful way to spend a sunday afternoon. it beats napping, thats for sure. this was so much fun for both blake and i. we had the honor of shooting this lovely intimate wedding. my old roomate, rebecca married grant on 10-10-10. i'd say that's a pretty lucky day if you ask me. the weather couldn't have been any better (maybe cooler..) but the lighting was perfect. and these two good looking souls make taking pictures a breeze. here's just a sneek peek of a few photos from the day. they were so happy. it was a good..no, great day. congratulations to my lovely friend.







date night

i love dating a man who's not afraid to act like a kid. we be actin' a fool. : ) last week was exceptionally busy for the man- his job/internship has a way of being busy sometimes. this is not a bad thing- i just miss my man when i don't get to spend good quality time with him. we made up for it friday night. the wait was totally-hilariously worth it!

somewhere in the distance, i swear i heard a child shriek. (spelling)? blake totally scared a small human. completely and totally awesome!

ready for 2 things today: *rain (its been dry for almost 1-1/2 months, literally.) *this cool front to come through after the rain. i've got fall recipes that i want to cook and i don't feel like i can when its still 90 degrees outside. hoping this weekend will be my perfect opportunity.

adoring autumn

                                           Red leaves/ 香山红叶, originally uploaded by Luo Shaoyang.

oh just a few things i adore in the fall. the leaves make the transition for summer to autumn so subtly and so gracefully. i wish i could do a better job of doing things as gracefully and subtly.  it is ironic to me that leaves cascade to their death in the fall- yet they grace us with such splendor and a richness of color for a time, making a statement on their way down. just lovely.  how can you not love fall when you take into consideration: pumpkin patches. hayrides. the fair. hot chocolate. clear, crisp days and evenings. camping. thanksgiving. blake's birthday. :) scarves. and boots. these are just several of the things i love love love in autumn. what are some things you love about this time of year?






where is my pumpkin? =}, originally uploaded by kennymuz.



genius beauty



by salkiwi

saturday evening post, norman rockwell

"autumn wins you best by this its mute appeal to sympathy for its decay" - robert browning